In this world, you either crank that soulja boy or it cranks you.

And let me tell you, Manchester City are cranking that soulja boy this summer.

The minute Man City signed a Dragon Ball Z villain of a striker coveted by nearly every top club in Europe, the cards were dealt, and City had a strong hand.

But it wouldn’t be any fun without a challenger, would it?

And so, Liverpool placed their hands on the crystal ball, speaking in hushed tones and cryptic algorithms, in search of the next striker-but-not-quite. When that didn’t work, the Reds turned to the dark side.

With fewer market inefficiencies to exploit, Liverpool decided to push the boat out and sign a familiar foe, one who burst onto the scene briefly but with éclat; a certain Darwin Núñez.

And here we are, right in the middle of the summer transfer window, with a couple of big-name outgoings expected at both the challengers.

Sadio Mane, Liverpool’s electric Senegalese winger, a Ballon d’Or candidate up until the Champions League final, and a signing that sparked the dawn of Liverpool’s pyrotechnical front three, is set to depart for Bayern Munich.

Across the East Lancs, Man City’s Raheem Sterling was left disgruntled with the lack of playing time over the season, with one foot out the exit door. Gabriel Jesus, the 25-year-old striker from Brazil who’d always answer Guardiola’s call for a winning strike, was also left disenchanted. Both players are expected to depart this summer.

It speaks volumes that these two clubs, frequent challengers for all the glory in club football, can afford to let these players leave and still have enough firepower to keep their rivals at arm’s length.

Haaland, the 21-year-old Norwegian phenom who has weaponised his feel for the game like few before him, and Núñez, the soon-to-be 23-year-old younger than the Powerpuff Girls but, by all accounts, just as quick and strong, are two recruits in two systems that have grown acquainted to playing with false nines.

That the departure of high-quality forwards is highly unlikely to leave these two gargantuan sides hamstrung is an ode to the subtle art of squad building.

It’s an art that has been sorely missed over at the likes of Manchester United.

For the longest time, it appeared the Red Devils had an almost divine right to the Premier League title. But the thing about the old days is, they’re the old days.

Having zeroed in on potential signings through the way of Buzzfeed quizzes, it appears Man United will have to make a deal with the devil to crawl back into contention for trophies.

Even a side like Real Madrid that’s been known to drink from Lake Galactico has taken a more measured approach in recent years, albeit on the back of Kylian Mbappe’s very public rejection.

Antonio Rudiger and David Alaba are for the here and now, but Eduardo Camavinga and Aurelien Tchouameni offer a decade-long guarantee of elite football, and with a reported release clause of one billion Euros, it would take the entire GDP of Grenada to prise Vinicius Jr away from the Bernabeu.

Having snapped up and treasured the rare commodity of established, elite No 9’s, Liverpool and Man City, alongside Real Madrid and Bayern Munich are poised to up the drawbridge of Champions League contention.

Once Pep Guardiola codes his style of play into Haaland’s double helixes, that group of four could swiftly turn into club football’s version of Homelander. Few, if any, can take a sledgehammer to their walls.

Between them, these four have won four of the last five Champions Leagues on offer and featured in all five finals.

It would’ve been five, were it not for Man City's live-action rendition of ‘Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face’ in the 2020/21 final. Sigh.

The bottom line isn’t to get an elite No 9 as a panacea, even if Barcelona think that’s the way, the truth, and the life.

The lesson is to cover all your bases over every summer and leave no room for the piercing glare of kryptonite, or whatever Homelander’s version of kryptonite is.

Liverpool, Man City, Real Madrid and Bayern Munich have done that to a degree few top clubs have managed in recent years.

For now, they're the goddamn Spice Girls of club football.