"It's close to midnight. Something evil's lurkin' in the dark."
The European Super League's plans are unveiled. "Twelve of Europe's leading clubs have come together to announce they have agreed to establish a new mid-week competition, the Super League, governed by its Founding Clubs."
"Under the moonlight. You see a sight that almost stops your heart. You try to scream. But terror takes the sound before you make it."
The idea is to have three more clubs join the twelve already on board to form the Founding Members. The Premier League's "Big Six" (Man City, Liverpool, Man United, Chelsea, Arsenal, Tottenham), Italy's Juventus, AC Milan and Inter Milan, and Spain's Barcelona, Real Madrid and Atletico Madrid have all joined as Founding Clubs.
"'Cause this is thriller! Thriller night. And no one's gonna save you. From the beast about to strike."
It's like an avaricious rendition of 1987's Wall Street. Only, there's no Michael Douglas with his cinematic presence. Just rich billionaires in suspicious overcoats proclaiming they're here to "save the game".
The timing of it all is surreal, to say the least. The European Super League was launched by these far-from-smooth criminals on a day Arsenal drew with relegation-battling Fulham, serial Serie A winners Juventus lost to Atalanta, and Tottenham, without a major trophy in 13 years, sacked the man who was supposed to bring some silverware to that bare trophy cabinet at the shiny new Tottenham Hotspur Stadium.
Bankrolled by JP Morgan (the bank will provide a debt-financing deal spread over 23 years against future broadcasting rights), the ESL will now hold "discussions with UEFA and FIFA to work together in partnership to deliver the best outcomes for the new League and for football as a whole." Whatever that means.
These Founding Clubs will split €3.5 billion "solely to support their infrastructure investment plans and to offset the impact of the COVID pandemic." That creaking sound you're hearing is football's elite upping the drawbridge to prevent smaller clubs from trying to get inside their fancy castle.
The difference in revenue from the Champions League? Texas-sized. The Times reported that ESL's teams will be offered around €350 million each to join and then nearly €230 million every season thereon. Current UCL winners receive about €100 million and change, depending on the size of their TV market.
Football's unregulated hyper-capitalism has led to the battle lines being drawn between these "big clubs" and UEFA, who stand to lose the most. Naturally, the ESL is unlikely to run alongside UEFA's Champions League, which means less revenue for UEFA. Which brings us to the domestic leagues.
Most of the top five leagues have condemned the move from the breakaway clubs, stating that they will not be allowed to participate in their respective leagues. Broadcasters are likely to take legal action should this be the case.
Broadcasters demanded rebates even when the fans weren't allowed in the stadiums and the appeal of a league without the "Big Six" clubs would take away quite some sheen from the product of the Premier League. A product that has taken some beating with VAR and the absence of fans.
Over in Spain, crippling debt has brought Atletico Madrid and Barcelona on board, while Real Madrid are the chief architects of the ESL. That tidy €3.5 billion windfall split among the Founding Clubs will go a long way in alleviating Barcelona's jaw-dropping debt, while losses at Real Madrid have only been slightly lower (just a €100 million-odd difference, no biggie).
Why didn't the German clubs join the ESL? Well, Germany's professional clubs (including Bayern Munich and Borussia Dortmund) are governed by the 50+1 rule, wherein the club's majority ownership lies with the fans. This prevents private investors (American billionaires, what have you) from taking control of the club, like in the Premier League.
Why didn't PSG join the ESL? Maybe it has a little something to do with PSG President Nasser al-Khelaifi heading the beIN Media Group, which holds Champions League broadcast rights, which would be substantially devalued with the ESL in play.
This wasn't a case of springing a surprise. Remember Barcelona's disgraced former president Josep Maria Bartomeu's farewell bomb as the door hit him on the way out last year? "Yesterday we accepted a proposal to participate in a future European Super League," Bartomeu proclaimed with a crooked smile. Real president Florentino Perez's comments go back to 2009.
It was a long time coming, even as most of these clubs lapped up the stratospheric revenue from huge TV deals and accrued massive debts. Most of these clubs were given a free hand to run the club as they see fit, with every possible financial advantage coming their way. Their colossal debt speaks volumes, even after considering the pandemic wreaking havoc.
Man United have done little in terms of on-pitch success with all their financial might year after year. Arsenal have forgotten the ways of Arsene Wenger and are only now trying to climb out of obscurity. AC Milan have only recently enjoyed a minor resurgence after years of startling underperformance. Juventus are battling for a top-four place this season with Ronaldo in their ranks. Shall we shed a tear? Or nod in agreement as they claim a swashbuckling, easy-on-the-eye Atalanta don't deserve a place in the Champions League?
These clubs have made bad decision after worse decision every year and are now breaking away to form a "Super" League that upends the sacrosanct pyramid of football.
Not that the current structure is flawless. It is very much flawed and needs reform. Just not the kind that comes from naked avarice.
Who are the good guys here? Certainly not UEFA, who had such a strong case to lay down the law with Financial Fair Play and somehow managed to handle it like Hanson from Scary Movie 2.
A day after the ESL announcement, UEFA announced its own version of a watered-down Super League starting from 2024/25 with places carved out for the same legacy clubs mounting an assault on the structure.
Certainly not FIFA, who handed Qatar the rights for the 2022 World Cup with its notorious human rights record, a country where homosexuality is still illegal. There have been multiple reports of workers losing their lives at the construction sites for the World Cup and their appalling living conditions.
The managers and players have ultimately been caught in the crossfire, pushed to the frontlines to comment on every little detail, details they themselves haven't been made aware of. With UEFA, FIFA and the FAs threatening to ban the ESL players from participating in the World Cup and the Euros (an impressive game of poker), the players are now caught between a rock and a very hard place.
Oh, and did I mention they included one thinly-worded sentence for the women's game? "As soon as practicable after the start of the men’s competition, a corresponding women’s league will also be launched, helping to advance and develop the women’s game." One tiny sliver of information. No more. We've covered all the bases. Only just.
And the cracks have already started to appear. The Premier League's "Big Six" have pulled out. Those are six big dominoes.
Man United chairman Ed Woodward has resigned in the wake of this mess, though the club has stated he was about to leave at the end of the season anyway. His Juventus counterpart Andrea Agnelli has reportedly resigned too. In retrospect, 4/20 was a wild day.
Not quite the start Florentino Perez would have wanted, considering he's been championing this for the better part of three decades.
And even if it crumbles to nothing, the elite will try again, won't they? When another disaster comes along, or a broadcasting rights deal needs to be renewed.
There are no winners here. Football is in dire need of reform but when that reform comes from the hyper-capitalist billionaire owners club with no limit on what "enough" entails, this is likely to go down the Fyre Festival way.
"All I wanna say is that they don't really care about us."
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